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blue dragon

Not a Good Day

So. I went to see my nephrologist today. For a number of years now we’ve been monitoring my lab work, keeping track of the numbers as they’ve been moving upwards, and I’ve been clinging to each tiny tenth and hundredth percentile. Mostly he’s been reassuring and telling me that things have been staying more or less stable. But since the last visit I attended the “what type of dialysis would you like to go on?” class, and we started talking about kidney function percentages.

The last time that topic was in play I was told I had 50 percent kidney function. Today he told me I’m in the 20-25 percent range. The number is important because once you reach the 20 percent range you can be put on the Wait List for a kidney transplant. In fact, my doctor told me I could go talk to his team now if I wanted to.

There are actually three transplant centers around here that I’ll be signing up with (you have to go through the interview process with each one individually), but not just yet...I told him that it’s too big a leap going from “you’re holding steady” to “go ahead and sign up for a transplant” right now. I need time to process this.


*hugs* Whatever it is, I hope you find a solution soon.
I think that I'm coming to realize that I've been in far more denial about the situaton than I had realized. I wasn't doing anything self-destructive, but I was just not thinking beyond a certain point -- beyond the "what's going to happen when they stop functioning" point. I've lived through dialysis as an observer, my dad was on it for 15 years, and so were a variety of aunts, uncles, and other family members. None of it brings up happy memories. On the brighter side, I do have a cousin who did receive a transplant and is doing very well. I think I need to talk with him and get some more information.

Thanks for the good wishes.
Yes, I would say that it might take a bit of time to process that! Good thoughts to you.
As I replied to trumpeterofdoom, I think it's been sinking in that I've been living in a much deeper state of denial than I had realized. Not that I was doing anything that would hurt myself, but I wasn't thinking about the future beyond the point of what would happen when my kidneys would stop working. I have a multitude of health issues, and this one just got absorbed into the rest, and now it's taken center stage with a vengeance. I've seen what dialysis is like from an observer's perspective, because my Dad was on it for 15 years. So were a variety of aunts, uncles, and other family members. I've always more or less been waiting for this anvil to be dropped on my head. On the brighter side I do have a cousin who received a transplant and he's been doing well. I want to speak with him and do some info gathering.

Anyway, thanks for the good wishes. (It was just that I wasn't expecting bad news that particular day, you know? So I wasn't braced for it.)
Aww, that is indeed a big deal to think about. Sending good thoughts your way!
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